April 9, 2020 – The eleventh official Friday Night BeerBlog

Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.

 Benjamin Franklin, in a letter to Jean-Baptiste Le Roy, 1789

That Bennie Frank. What a wordsmith. But he didn’t come up with the idea of death and taxes being certain. The thought was penned by Daniel Defoe in 1726 “Things as certain as death and taxes, can be more firmly believ’d.” And by Christopher Bullock in 1716 “Tis impossible to be sure of any thing but Death and Taxes.” Don’t believe me? Go look it up on Google. I did.

One thing remains true; that since forever, the only real things that have remained constant in this life are death and taxes. And I have a feeling that moving forward the only real things that will remain constant are death and taxes.

It’s April again. For most, April screams “Spring!” and “Easter!”. But to self-employed people like me, it screams “Taxes!” January is prep as 1099s roll in and the change-over of the receipt folders occurs. February is cold and the last thing you want to think about it taxes so you put it on a shelf. Then March arrives and the countdown is on. It is best to get it done in March so that the pressure isn’t on in April. Oops, it’s April 9th.

This year, the federal government has given us all a coronabreak till May, but state, city, and self-employment taxes – otherwise known as the dreaded sinking tax – are still due, which means you have to do your federal taxes in order to make sure you’re square on all other fronts. NOTE: After the typing of this blog, I have learned that the state of Kentucky has given a month reprieve on the state tax deadline.

I promise not go into the surgery-type procedure of doing taxes as a self-employed person, but let me assure you that it is not fun. Self-employed people do not get any benefits on the front end, so they have to make sure to take all the benefits on the back end. It’s a process that requires careful documentation. And it’s not fun. Just ask Mike. Yes – Mike does our taxes, including mine.

I know, I can hear you moaning as I read that, but know that I am married to a Finance major and while we were dating, he protested wildly over how I kept my checkbook (back the the oldie days). My approach was to round all of my purchases up to the nearest dollar so that my bank account had an extra cash pad come Christmastime. What? You don’t balance your checking account every month…to the penny? Need I say more?

So any chance of me touching McShane finances went out the window the second we were married. Along about this time he also protested over how I load the dishwasher and so I still don’t do that either – because there is nothing worse than loading a dishwasher only to have someone come behind you to reload it. It’s a button. Trust me, don’t push it.

Anyway, even though I don’t do the actual taxes, because I know my work situation is going to cause tremendous pain and cause to complain, I try to prepare everything ahead of time. My receipts are all categorized and paperwork is at the ready. I’m on hand to answer questions and to make sure Mike is okay every time he starts growling like a bear. I keep snacks close and beer on hand when the deed is done. These are my jobs and I do them well.

Every year I have to endure the same question, “Why don’t you hire a CPA to do your part of the taxes?” And every year I ignore him because there is no way that he is going to give up that kind of control over the finances. It will never happen. But I grit my teeth every year when it comes up. I’m still waiting for it this year, but I guarantee you by this reading, I will have heard it.

I would definitely describe myself as someone who enjoys her feminist views, but I don’t mind Mike doing the taxes for us. He certainly isn’t taking away any of my power. Just like I’m not taking any of his power as the “grill master” of our household. Honestly, I don’t want to do them. It would be complete torture. Now I could if forced, but if he is offering, why wouldn’t I jump on that? Secretly I think he enjoys drowning in the numbers and excel spreadsheets.

So actually it’s a win-win for both of us. Don’t get me wrong, he likes to complain about doing them, but on the down low he digs it. And I on the other hand, get to write a blog about it while someone else is picking apart TurboTax. We’ve established a mutually beneficial tax relationship. And that’s what we do because we’re a team that way.

So what is this post really about? Well…

• Ben Franklin didn’t coin the phrase about death and taxes.
• Being self-employed at tax time sucks.
• Mike does our taxes, but it isn’t a power thing. I let him do it; like loading the dishwasher.
• I grill a mean steak. This isn’t in the blog, but I’m hungry.
• Last, basically years come, years go. Most things change or have a different twinge to them, but not during tax season. It’s the same. It’s always the same.

And here’s to your survival. Happy Tax Day!

LLM

If you’d like to listen to the blog as read on the podcast by me and Mike:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1594894/8306401