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You know it’s easy for me to assume that everyone that is reading or listening and is totally aware of what the Friday Night BeerBlog is. And it’s easy to assume that because Mike and I are here every Friday and we start out every FNBB podcast by explaining that it is the weekly reading of my blog that I write on life in general that I read to my husband Mike on Friday nights, preferably drinking a beer. And Why do I read it? Say it with me…”Because some people just don’t like to read”.
Every story has a beginning. And again, I know that story, but you might not. So snuggle up.
As I was nearing the end of my 50th year I had an existential crisis or as Brene Brown calls it a Spiritual Breakdown / Awakening. I had been working in a creative community for nearly 30 years, but was feeling stale. I was telling stories every day, but I was telling someone else’s story. And it felt like I could never get it right. Right then and right there, though I felt this elephant of a thing on my chest that a change needed to happen much sooner, rather than later.
I wanted to write, but I had been telling someone else’s stories for so long that I felt like my own stories weren’t important or that it would be wrong. I sucked it up long enough to start this blog anyway. But I didn’t tell anybody about it. And talk about the amount of straight up flop sweat from stress that first time I hit publish. Hit publish and walk away. I did and it felt like a victory, even if no one knew about it.
After about four months of writing this weekly blog about life and stories from my past, I got up the nerve to mention in passing to the Pickle that I was writing a blog and that I had created a website. He had no idea, but wasn’t surprised because I’ve been know to just do “stuff”. He asked if I would read it to him. It was a Friday night. We were drinking a beer. The stage was set.
So I read that week’s blog. I don’t remember which one it was, but he laughed in all the right parts and he made suggestions to make it better and he told me to PUBLISH. It became a ritual. Every Friday night. It was “our thing” when so many other couples look to find something that keeps them connected. Because the blog wasn’t just about me. It was about him. And about us.
He hadn’t thrown up over it, so began to post on Instagram and Facebook about it. Some friends read it and encouraged me to keep going. And there is something about that external validation that is so needed. And so I persisted.
Spring 2020 brought the home-bound pandemic and days that extended with no end in site. Somehow during the year I had been talked into starting a podcast. Actually all it took was for someone to suggest it to me and I was in. I had come a long way from being scared to let people know I had posted a blog. But no matter how confident you are, it is never easy to just put yourself out there in any way, shape, or form.
So I started this pretty vulnerable, yet educational podcast for women over 50 called The New Old You and I felt that I needed to get as many “episodes” up as possible to beef up a library so people could find me.
And then it hit me. How much more trying to find “the new old you” is it than what we were talking about in the Friday Night BeerBlog, FNBB for short? So I told Mike that we would start recording our beer sessions for the podcast. The response? Ehhhh. I don’t think Mike was super happy about being dragged into this. But he’s a good sport and now secretly loves it.
We joke that we only have about 8 FNBB listeners, mostly family – and that is mostly true, but I don’t see that lack of an audience to be a huge factor in the fact that we are creating something together. Some weeks it sucks I admit, but some weeks are really funny. And some day it is going to be a window for our children into their parents’ lives at 50 something. A legacy for them as it were.
Suffice it to say, I learn a lot about myself sitting down to write this little blog every week. Many people would have trouble coming up with something to write about every week, but I’m always asking myself, How Do I Choose? Life is full and complex and stuffed with so many things, good and bad – and they all have a story. Some that you will agree with, and some you won’t. But that’s okay. We’re just all here learning and growing and trying to be the best versions of ourselves that we can.
All I know is that I found the creative outlet that I was craving so badly. And each week it allows me to express myself in ways I never thought I would be able to in the past. And I feel so free. So thank you dear reader or dear listener for coming back week after week to laugh with us. We feel the love.
Check out the podcast version: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/redesigning-midlife-workout-motivation-nutrition-facts/id1549596974?i=1000568509006
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