I made a change this week. I got 8 inches cut off my hair. Was it a big deal? Sorta. To me it was. My hair had literally been growing since before the pandemic. I had this thing about seeing how long I could get it to grow. It’s never grown fast, but when the pandemic hit us and we really couldn’t get haircuts, I just decided to let it go. And I enjoyed it. It was different for me. That hair became something that I relied on and hid behind.

But a couple of months ago a thought came into my head. I saw a woman with really cute short hair and I was like, “Oh, I like that.” Now, I am no stranger to short hair, but I had been growing my hair and wearing it as armor since I turned 50. But I couldn’t get the idea out of my head – the idea of this change festered and boiled inside me until this past Thursday. I went in and got it all cut. Not as short as the pixies that I’ve had in the past, but up above my shoulders near chin level. When that hair hit the floor, so did the feelings of doubt, anxiousness, and frustration. I knew I desperately had needed a change and I embraced that shit.

Change Is Hard

We are creatures of habit. We settle into the familiar, even if it isn’t comfortable, because we feel that any change will be painful. And remember, our brains want to keep us safe, even if our current situation isn’t necessarily good for us. We will repeatedly bang our heads up against a wall if that is what we’ve always done.

One of the phenonomenons of a midlife woman is the recognition and awareness of needing a change somewhere in life – in her career / job, location, relationship or relationships, how she sees herself, or even her hair length. These types of changes usually come from getting to a breaking point where there is absolutely no other way around it.

It Effects Everybody

I went through this as I turned 50. I had a feeling deep inside me that I needed to find myself through a creative change. This need grew until I felt it with every last heartbeat. I’ve talked in this blog and on the podcast about how opening that pandora’s box produced 2 books, 3 screenplays, this Friday Night BeerBlog, and nearly 3 years of Redesigning Midlife podcast episodes. That change was good for me and allowed for a renewal of spirit to give me options for even bigger changes.

My story isn’t unusual. I’ve talked to many women who have pivoted from careers they have spent 25+ years building. Or maybe they have left long marriages, moved to new places and even other countries. Even men experience needing a change in midlife – we normally call it a “midlife crisis” where some aging trigger spurs men to make a drastic change in order to deal with it.

Don’t Ignore Change

Needing a change should never be ignored. There is no denying an overwhelming gut-wrenching need for change when it gnaws at you day after day, month after month, maybe even year after year. Every fiber of your being is trying to tell you something. It is urging you to get out of this rut for your own health.

If you don’t make the change you desperately need, what happens? Could be nothing. Could be everything. If you decide to stay in your old, comfortable job, the days will slide away as nothing changes, including the amount of excitement or success you will experience in life. If you decide not to make the changes to drastically turn your health around, then that lack of change could set you up for years of suffering illnesses or an early death.

It Never Ends

Change is not a one and done. Our lives go through phases. What is a good change now, will eventually need another change. And if you listen and pay attention to your subconscious, you’ll feel it. You’ll know when it is time to seriously begin to think about making a change yet again.

And it will never get easy, but making the hard decisions and learning to accept whatever comes of these changes will bring you more success, a more enriched life, and satisfaction that you have done the best thing for yourself. It’s amazing that a haircut can do all of that. But it has.

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