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No Permission Needed | You Deserve To INVEST IN YOURSELF In Midlife | FNBB 92
Friday January 27, 2023 – The Ninety-Second Official Friday Night BeerBlog
A friend of mine was telling me this story about when her daughter was young and very ill. She took her to doctors to find answers, but every one said something different, wanted to prescribe meds, or said there was nothing wrong with her. But my friend knew there was answer out there and poured over websites and books and forked over big bucks for specialists. After three years, she found an herbalist that was able to give her the answers she searched for and the relief her daughter needed.
During all of this time, my friend was also not feeling well and experiencing an illness of her own, but pushed it off as stress as she invested all of her time, money, and energy into finding answers for her daughter. Now, while we all understand wanting to do everything in our power to make sure that our kids aren’t suffering in any way, we won’t do the same for ourselves. We will not invest the same time, money and energy on ourselves and often push our needs and in this case, an illness, to the side until we absolutely must face it.
Let’s be honest, you deserve it. Through the years we wear the badge of putting ourselves and our needs last proudly. We martyr ourselves because if we don’t, we are shamed into believing that if we aren’t putting others first all the time, then we aren’t a good (fill in the blank) wife, mother, daughter, friend, employee, and on and on.
Breaking the pattern of martyrdom and beginning to believe that you and what you need are just as important as everyone else’s needs doesn’t happen overnight, but it all starts with belief in the statement, “I deserve it”. Just as much as everyone else does, if not more.
There are many types of “investing in yourself”. Like I mentioned, there is time, money, energy, thought, belief. None of these is better than the other as they all bring certain rewards. The important thing to notice is your own mindset when you finally break that seal and just DECIDE to invest in yourself. The birds sing, the sun shines…I kid, but it really is like that Claritin commercial where everything you see is a dull color and a veil is lifted and everything is so bright and clear.
That may sound dramatic, but there is something that happens to the soul when you come to the realization that you deserve something. I think it’s a warm feeling of self-love, a kind of love that no one else can give you. And you deserve that too.
Ahem. Absolutely no one besides yourself. And making an investment in yourself isn’t something that just you need to do. It is something that everyone should be doing. So like you want others to support you and any investment you are making, make sure to encourage them to do the same. While no one needs permission, getting a vote of confidence and support from those around you, increases the knowledge that you deserve this thing.
If people give you get pushback, sit them down and have an honest conversation. A lot of times, our loved ones and friends just can’t see the situation from your point of view. And even though it may not be of their concern, if you explain where you are coming from, most will get on board because they ultimately want what is best for you.
There is absolutely no better time to start putting yourself first and invest in yourself than now in midlife. You’ve spent too many years on the sideline doing all the cheering, it’s time for people to start cheering for you. And I hope you are your biggest cheerleader.
Redesigning Midlife Weekly Update
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