May 6, 2022 – The Sixty-Fourth Official Friday Night BeerBlog
Last week I recorded a podcast episode with Lisa Hoffman, a friend who is working on her life coaching certification. We were talking about the fact that she has been practicing on her nieces and nephews and teaching them about what coaching is and what it looks like.
The thing she remarked about these sessions is that between the ages of 20-28, how fresh the decision process is for them. And I knew immediately that I needed to write about this phenomenon because it is one that comes up on a regular basis around here.
Nothing To Lose
Just the idea of the decision making process being fresh fills me with great nostalgia. I remember the days when making decisions was so easy. There was no fear in jumping in with both feet because I had nothing to lose. Over the years, decisions have become much more difficult. The fallout could be great. There are so many factors to consider and so many people to figure into each equation.
I remember the days of deciding to go on a trip, packing a bag and leaving. Or quitting a job because I hated it. Buying something outside my budget because I just wanted it. Taking a risk because I needed to feel alive. To never doubt myself, the things I wanted, or doubt the way or FACT even, that I was going to get there.
Life Gets Heavy
But we get older. And may get married and have children. We become tied to a job and payments for things like houses and cars and phone plans and Netflix. We start to let situations and other people tell us who we are or should be. That little voice in our heads tells us to take the safe road and don’t make waves. We live day in and day out thinking that we’re doing the absolute right thing for ourselves and everyone around us.
Until one day we wake up to see how far we have traveled from that twenty year old we once were. How did all of it get so hard? We realize that the little voice, while feeling that it’s been keeping us safe all these years, has really been holding us hostage from many opportunities presented us through the years. Regret rings hard. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard Mike say how he wishes he were more like that fearless risk-taker he once was.
You Are Still In There
The thing is, we may have more to deal with now – more responsibilities and more people that rely on us, but the truth is that that our twenty year old self is still in there. You just have to dig him or her out of there. There are many ways to do that. First, find a decision that you consider hard now that would have been easy back in the day and just MAKE A DECISION quickly like you used to. And be fine with it. Walk away. Don’t overanalyze. You want that pair of shoes that seem so impractical and unnecessary? Buy them and sleep good at night.
Second, try something new. Something that looks like it could be fun or a challenge. A what the hell kind of thing. Run a half marathon. Take a day off work and go see a movie by yourself. Go somewhere you’ve never been before – even if it’s in your own town. Then work up to bigger things like finding a new job, asking for a divorce, wearing that dress that “some people” may find inappropriate. MEOW!
You’re A Badass Mother-Fucker
Need I say more, really? The world hasn’t forgotten. Just you.