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Ghosting in Adulthood Isn’t Mean, It’s Rude
November 19, 2021 – The Fortieth Official Friday Night BeerBlog
Have you ever been the victim of ghosting? I’m sure you have because it’s a common practice in every generation, but has a different names. For Gen X, we used to call it being dissed. Before that it was being blown off. Today it’s called ghosting – at least I think it’s still called that – these things change so fast.
I remember Mike ghosting me back in the early 90s. We ran into each other the day we both graduated from the University of Louisville. He asked me to hang out with some of his friends and I ended up back at his apartment where we hooked up. (Another slang phrase that I don’t think you need me to explain.)
I was quite smitten and thought we had a connection so I waited for him to call. But he didn’t. So I proceeded to try to put myself in Mike’s path, to run into him again. That didn’t work either. I wish someone had informed me that I was being “ghosted” because imagine the horror when I stopped by his apartment one night to say hi and there was another girl there. Talk about your awkward. AHHHHH! I definitely got it after that. And little did he know that in 1996 he would start a lifetime of being unable to ever ghost me again.
But ghosting doesn’t end with these type of interactions. Ghosting even happens between adults. And it happened to me twice with the same person in less than a month. As I was researching guests for my The New Old You podcast, I had a person that I had been following closely on Instagram that I thought would be a great guest. This person is very much into the empowerment of women and the need for good daily habits to reach your goals.
Because I had been following her I felt like I knew her. And she didn’t know me, so I was nervous to approach and ask her to be on the podcast. But I believe in the podcast and because of that mustered up the hutspa to reach out via email. I waited and got an answer. Yes, she would love to be on the podcast. That is always great news to receive because you never know how people will respond. A no can feel like rejection, which we all know sucks.
But she said yes and I went about getting a day and time secured. Strike while the iron is hot! I gave her several dates in October because she has a new product coming out and a new podcast and I wanted to make sure to get her on mine on so that we could talk about her product and new podcast. She said November was better, that she only records on Tuesdays, and that any would work for her. I looked at my calendar and gave her three Tuesday dates that worked for me. She came back to me with the only Tuesday I had something else scheduled. I really wanted her on the podcast, so I changed my commitment and penciled her in.
Then I wanted to nail down a time because I know she is busy. To this question I got no answer. None. For weeks. As the weeks went by and got within a couple of the date we had decided on, I emailed her again, reminding her that we were scheduled to record on such and such date and what time would be convenient for her.
But she is busy y’all. She’s been traveling and needs to decompress. Could we record in December instead? I am already seeing the writing on the wall, but I press on because this is interesting given her message of empowerment to the masses of women that follow her. “Absolutely I understand and of course, let’s look at December.” I type that I know she only records on Tuesdays so how about these two December dates. Crickets.
Now I’m no dummy and I know that life gets hectic. But y’all. Come on. Now I could get all funky and start to think that maybe she thinks I’m just small fish and that she doesn’t want to waste her time to be on my podcast and my ego can take that. I know I’m not for everybody. And my podcast isn’t for everyone – even for some people that I’m giving a space to further their opportunities for business. BUT. And that is a big but.
Just tell me no. Don’t tell me yes and then ghost me. If you don’t want to do something say NO. If you say you’re going to do something, then DO IT. I tell my kids ALL of the time that Communication Is Key. It is the number one thing needed in any relationship – whether that is between friends, lovers, or business acquaintances.
So it looks like I’ll either be finding another guest to speak on the subject or I will do it myself. I am ALL about some good daily habits to help propel you forward. In the end, she isn’t the only person that can speak to this subject, so I’ll just have to feel sorry for her for missing the opportunity to speak with me. This is most definitely not my problem, but a flaw that is going to hurt her over and over.
NOTE: If by some chance she eventually gets back to me, this blog post will disappear. Cause that would be rude, too.
Till next week – Peace out!
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