You need to connect with your partner. The kids are gone. The late-night antics of our twenties are now falling asleep on the couch at ten o’clock. Weekly date night has turned into monthly or quarterly date night. You just aren’t finding that you are “in touch” with who this person is anymore and you are afraid that you both may stray so far that it will be hard to get that close connection back. I’ve got the BEST ways to reconnect with your partner so that all the rest of your days together will be just like the first.

Combine Your Bucket / Goal Lists

We talked about the bucket/goal lists in a recent Friday Night BeerBlog. A list of what you want to do and accomplish in life is a great start. A plan to do them is even better. But the cherry on top is when you and your partner can sit down and combine your lists. What common items do you have? What items will you have to compromise on? But best of all, what can YOU do to help your partner reach one or more of the goals that he/she/they have on their list?

Sometimes the greatest pleasure in life is helping someone else reach a goal. If you do that, most assured your partner will want to do the same for you. And there is nothing like a built-in cheerleader to help you succeed.

Connect Through A Hobby Or Shared Passion

This is what Mike and I do. We ride bikes. We spend a lot of time together on two wheels. Sometimes we talk. Sometimes we don’t. But just being together and around each other brings a special closeness and appreciation of the other person.

A hobby or shared passion can be anything. Maybe it’s golf, yard work, traveling, or cooking together. Maybe you can create a quest like finding the best IPA and travel to breweries and tastings. Or get involved in a charity together to raise money and awareness. Anything that is done regularly that you both care about and can support each other in will bring you closer.

Chores To Connect

When we get to a certain age in our relationships, the roles or who does what start to blur. There should be no hard line of who does what. You are sharing in your midlife together and so sharing the chores is another way to spend time together and reconnect. Grocery shop and cook together. Clean the house together. Run errands together. Do taxes together (gulp).

Doing these “normal” tasks as a couple is a united front that you are taking care of your midlife nest together. It says you are willing to work with and provide a comfortable place for you and your partner.

To Connect Is As Easy As Face Time

What we need at this time in our midlife relationships is invest in FACE TIME. Not necessarily talk time, although that is great too. But as we are growing our careers and raising kids, real face time can be ignored or sacrificed for everything else. Now is the time to get serious about this reconnection, especially if you desire to remain in this committed relationship. You may find that you don’t and that is okay, too.

But when the relationship isn’t broken, face time can lead back to so many great things; talking, laughing, cuddling, and cuddling+ if you know what I mean. Reconnection starts here. 

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