December 10, 2021 – The Forty-Fourth Official Friday Night BeerBlog
I’m typing this blog up as the Pickle and I drive back from Cyclocross National Championships in Chicago, Illinois. It is always the last race of the year for the domestic amateurs and the whole season is a build-up to this last National race. The outcome can make or break your season. Yes, that is WAAY too much pressure to put on one race, especially given the willy nilly factors that cannot be controlled in this sport.
Why Is Being A Bridesmaid A Bad Thing?
Mike finished 6th place in his age group of 55-59 men. This is 6th in the entire country of men this age that race the sport and that travelled to compete. It is a huge feat, especially given that his “goal” was to finish in single digits. His previous best finish was 7th – so 6th is the best he has ever done at this national race.
He should be so happy – right? Well, here’s the rub. The podium for this national event is 5 deep. The top 5 finishers are recognized on the podium and receive medals. Is it a big deal? Hell yes it’s a big deal. Haven’t we all learned that if you don’t have a photo of something happening, then it didn’t happen? What better way to prove this thing than a photo on the podium and a medal to throw in the medal bin?
Being a bridesmaid and not a bride in this instance can be soul crushing. It sucks EVEN if your original goal was met. A hard place to be in. Immediately after the race I ran to congratulate Mike. The first thing out of his mouth wasn’t a resounding “YES I met my goal”. It was, “I screwed up the first lap.” And when congratulated by others, his response was “Thanks, but I really shouldn’t have let such and such happen.”. Yadda Yadda, etc.
Keep Your Eyes On The Intention Goal
So many of us are like this when we reach our goals, whatever they are. We let the disappointment of factors out of our control affect how we react to meeting our intention goals. We automatically wish that we had done better, or gone farther, made more money, had more success – whatever it is. And in doing that we rob ourselves of the celebration and the fact that we completed that thing we originally wanted to complete.
Some say, well it’s healthy to want more and not be complacent. I get that, but if you never acknowledge where you DID have success before setting the next goal line, then I say you’ll never reach that next success rung. You have to know how to celebrate each new level before you can set your sites on the next.
Don’t Celebrate Reaching Goals At Your Own Risk
My friend, Sports Psychologist Cheryl Hart says that if you don’t celebrate each intention goal that you reach then you are ultimately tearing down any self-worth that you may be building. If it’s never good enough, how are you ever good enough?
So, I think it is okay to set a new intention goal based on this result, but you cannot go back and relive and exceed the experience you just had. You need to make note of your success and see how you can use it to be successful at this next goal. Celebrate. Take a day or two, evaluate what you can learn and build from there.
Congrats to my Pickle man. He WILL make the podium and if he can just believe in himself, will WIN. I just KNOW it.
Link to the podcast version of the reading of the blog – Friday Night BeerBlog