What I Learned From Dry January
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Are We All Just Living In The Matrix?
January 7th, 2022 – The Forty-Seventh Official Friday Night BeerBlog
Well, welcome to 2022. I don’t know about you, but it feels odd for time to be moving so quickly. Wasn’t it January 7th, 2021 just yesterday?
Anyway, I digress. Even though it feels like last year was just yesterday, there have been so many things that have happened. Normally it would all be a blur, but I have really been trying to live in the moment. And because of that I can vividly remember many parts of this past year.
This is a major improvement for me. I’ve spent a lot of my life looking toward the next thing. Years spent reaching a place and not celebrating or enjoying it the way it deserves. It has always been, “Good. So, what’s next?” It’s not like this is something that only I do. I would guarantee that most people are this way. We do, we don’t be. And as my friend Nancy McElwain recently said to me, “We spend so much time being Human Doings, that we forget we are Human Beings.”
The other big thing that I have focused on this year is what I talked to Christian de la Huerta on The New Old You podcast about this week. Basically, if I can distill it down, it’s that everything we do is either controlled by our ego or by our soul aka the inner self, or intuition.
It’s a weighty discussion of thought, but here is the gist of it. We, as a person, are a huge baseball stadium and our ego is a baseball on the ground in the center of the field. But the ego thinks that IT is the stadium. It has some good functions – like it filters through everything going on around us so that we are not overwhelmed. But the ego runs amuck as a rule. Whereas it feels that it is protecting us and keeping us safe, it very well could be working hard to keep us in situations that aren’t good for us. Like a job or relationship that is slowly killing us. Most of the time it is just so much easier to stay than to force yourself out of the familiar.
The ego operates in fear. And it can wreak havoc on you. One minute it can have you feeling totally in control and on top of life (Go You!). And the next when you realize you forgot an appointment, it will make you feel like you are the inept person on earth. (Ya Big Dummy!)
Christian refers to the ego as the monkey mind. He says that from the time our feet hit the floor that monkey mind is busy at work steering you in the direction it wants you to go and keeps all thoughts in your head racing. Doubt. Assumptions. Fear. Fear. Fear.
But in the meantime, you’ve got your intuition whispering to you too, but you just can’t hear it over your ego. So you’ve got to work to quiet your monkey mind, that ego, so you can tap into your inner self in order hear what your real self is saying. What is the ego holding you back from?
It’s very similar to being part of the Matrix. The ego has us living an imaginary life where it makes us feel like we are safe. We can’t ask uncomfortable questions or try new things because. because. because. But then we take the red pill and we are awakened to the way that things actually are and the possibilities that that are available to us.
So how do you escape this Ego Matrix? The first thing you must do is acknowledge the ego. When you are able to see it for what it is, you can start to recognize it when it rears its ugly head or fills your ears with negative energy. We will never get rid of it, but recognizing it allows you to separate yourself from it. It’s the ability to see it, recognize it, and then stop for a pause before you react.
The second thing you need to do is learn to sit with yourself and listen for the voice of your inner self. This is a hard one. The ego uses a lot of words and says them loudly.
For Instance, Thought: I may have a fever. I should call in sick. Ego: Are you sure you should do that? You don’t have many sick days left. If you don’t go today, they may give that client to another rep. There is no way they’ll believe you’re sick. It’s almost the weekend anyway, you should power through it.
But if you are still and listen to your intuition it goes like this. Thought: I may have a fever. I should call in sick. Intuition: Good idea.
Getting still is where meditation comes in. Meditation has gotten such a woo-woo wrap forever. But stick with me here. Meditation is a free way to heal from the inside. This is the place where you are able to get quiet and be still and find some good solid direction. And you’ll never be perfect at meditation – no one is. I guarantee your mind will still be racing, but you learn to acknowledge this and let it go. And it’s in that letting go that those silent messages from your inner-self come through.
It’s a job. A big one. Recognizing the ego. Learning to tune it out. Being able to get still and quiet. Hearing your own inner self talk to you. And it doesn’t happen over night. You never even master it. You just learn how to control it.
But once you make it outside the matrix, I promise you the colors are brighter, the sounds are sweeter, and the possibilities are endless.
Till next week!
LLM
To listen to the FNBB podcast version:
Redesigning Midlife Weekly Update
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